People will go to great lengths to pass a drug test, especially when their job and essentially their livelihood is on the line. People that don’t use drugs typically never think twice about taking a drug test. Drug users who try to defraud a drug test will have some sort of game plan and typically a backup plan. This cheater story is about a backup plan gone wrong.

One Friday afternoon, about an hour before we closed shop for the weekend, we had a woman come into our clinic for a drug test. One of our collectors took her back to begin her drug test. After the donor presented the collector with the specimen, we immediately realized that her specimen didn’t come out of her body (we try not to give too many details on how we catch cheaters in our blog, as not to educate a drug test cheater who may be reading our material…if you’re curious as to how we determine a specimen did not come from a donors body we’d be happy to share that with you verbally).

After we told the donor that she would have to try again, she was distraught. She accepted the water we gave her, and we explained that if she left without giving us a specimen we would accept, we would report it as a refusal which has the same consequences as a positive. Soon after she sat down in the waiting room other donors began to filter in as they normally do on Friday afternoons. We keep a close eye on cheaters in the waiting room as many will try a variety of actions to attempt to cheat again once we bust them the first time.

Our cheater on that particular day was on her phone a lot, and whispering to other donors walking through the door; probably asking them for clean urine. She then explained that she was some sort of contractor and needed her “bag”. We explained to her once again that she could not leave the building. She said she would have someone bring her the bag. This immediately raises red flags when someone is bringing a cheater a bag that could potentially contain more urine to try and cheat again. About 10 minutes before we closed, our cheater was the only one left in the waiting room. One of our collectors, already on high alert because someone was bringing her a mysterious bag, went and sat beside the anxious donor. Finally, a man walked in with a mesh backpack and gave it to the woman. By that time, we had 2 collectors sitting beside her. She began digging through the bag “making sure all of her stuff was there”. She even looked at the guy who dropped it off and lipped “where is it” as if we couldn’t read lips.

Coincidentally she was immediately ready to pee again and she insisted that she take her bag with her to the collection room. As the collector led her back to the collection room, another First Choice staff member saw her take some sort of container full of urine out of her bag and hide it underneath her arms. The staff member who witnessed this immediately went into the collection room and informed our friend that she would have to throw that away before she entered the bathroom. She played dumb, acting like she had nothing on her. We explained that we saw her take something out of her bag and she would have to throw it away before she entered the bathroom. She said some curse words and said “im not throwing anything away” and stormed out into the waiting room straight for the front door.

As she was about to leave, she dropped a condom full of urine so large it would make any man blush. The giant condom bounced and rolled across our waiting room floor. The donor sprang into action to retrieve it before anyone saw, but she kicked the condom in the process, sending it further across the floor. It bounced and rolled some more before she finally caught it. She quickly shoved the somehow intact condom down her pants and walked out. Her backup plan may have looked good on paper, but we have eyes everywhere (except the bathrooms of course). Another Cheater Busted!